Giving Up is Not an Option

With everything we do in life, there will be times when we feel like we just want to give up. It’s natural to feel that way when we become overwhelmed. Every day people give up on their marriages, relationships, careers, education, and even life itself. How do we ever accomplish anything if we let it get the best of us? We don’t.

When life gets us down, it’s important to stay grounded. If not, we can let ourselves float off into a deep ocean abyss of negativity that is hard to recover from. You have to remember how far you’ve made it, what you’ve overcome, and how you overcame those obstacles in the past. My secret has been self-care. When I get overwhelmed with school work, I take a little break to remind myself of why I am going to school and how far I’ve come with my education. When I get overwhelmed because I am a stay-at-home mom, I remind myself of why my husband and I chose this life for our kids and that it won’t last forever. When I get overwhelmed in my marriage, I remind myself of the obstacles we have crossed successfully in the past and the unconditional love and support we have for each other. Finally, I remind myself of how blessed I am to have all of these things in my life. A loving husband, kids, and the chance at an education is what some people dream of or pray for. I’ll never take them for granted.

Your situation is all about how you see it. If you see yourself as a failure, trying again can be stressful and worrisome. Choosing to go back to college, after 3 years of being out of college, I was terrified of failing again. If you see yourself as a work in progress, learning a lot from your experiences and soaking in all the knowledge you can will benefit your future. If you see yourself as a winner, displaying your confidence in a way that helps other people succeed, will help you grow as a person.

Giving up is not an option, for me. The stress I feel some days wouldn’t compare to the guilt I’d feel if I ever gave up, on anything. That’s what keeps me going. You have to be able to live with yourself. Before you make rash decisions, be sure that you can live with the consequences. Lastly, be sure that you can live with yourself after making those decisions.

Move forward one assignment at a time, one day at a time, one conversation at a time. You’ll get there.


When a Hen Crows: A Miscarriage Story

Old wives tales are often seen as false beliefs. However, there is some truth to them. Growing up, my grandfather was very avid about ridding the hens of his flock who crowed. It was not often, but when it happened, the hair stood up on the backs of everyone’s necks. They knew what it meant, and they weren’t about to let a hen with bad news live to spread her message of impending death any longer.

It’s common knowledge that animals can smell death. Normally, their reaction to this is to crow, howl, wail, etc. For hens, they crow just like a rooster would. For dogs who sense death is near, in other animals or humans, they let out an eerie and unforgettable howl. The earliest memory I have of hearing this was with my favorite childhood dog. His name was Beau. He was a black Cocker Spaniel and retriever mix. He was the best dog anyone could ever have. We found him when he was about a year old, in the middle of a busy highway. From the first day we brought him home, when I was four, we were best buds.

Fast forward over a decade, Beau was nearing his last days. In those final days, he would howl underneath the steps in my grandmother’s garage. He was old and weak. We all knew that he wouldn’t last much longer. His howl was low and tiresome. Much like that of a beast taking its last breath. He eventually got to where he couldn’t walk and he had to be put down. The sound of his howl and the emotion that reverberated from it will forever resonate within me.

From that time on, I had lived life. I went to college, met someone, and had a baby. My first child was a little over a year old when we found out I was pregnant with our second child. We were excited and couldn’t wait to meet our new bundle of joy. Yet, at only 5 weeks along, I started to have unbearable cramps. I knew something was wrong. On the morning of March 19th, 2015, I woke up bleeding. I knew what was happening. I immediately began to cry. I felt devastated. Was it something I had done? My first baby was healthy, why wouldn’t this one be? These thoughts and more ran through my head as I cried all the way to the emergency room. When I arrived, the doctor confirmed what I had already known. I was miscarrying. My HCG hormone levels were very low, meaning that the pregnancy was not “sticking”. I cried. I cried for the baby that I had already thought of a name for. I cried for the sibling this baby would have been to my older child. I cried for the person this baby might have become, if they had been given the chance.

After leaving the emergency room, I went home. Still devastated and in a large amount of pain, I put my car in park and started walking from my driveway toward my house. My dog was playing in the grass and watching me walk to the door. However, when my dog’s eyes met mine, she changed. She immediately sat down and began to howl the same eerie howl that Beau had let out over several years earlier. She knew what was happening. She could smell death on me. Hell, I could smell it. But when she howled, it made me realize, animals aren’t oblivious. They know what’s going on, they just can’t say it like we can. But they can still say it.

I will forever be on the lookout for a dog to howl or a hen to crow. Their crows and howls are a potential warning sign to pull your loved ones close and keep an eye out for death. I still think about my baby and what it could have been. Yet, I am thankful I was only 5 weeks along versus being much further along. I’m not sure how I would have handled it, had I been much further along. A year and a half later, after that terrible day, the lord blessed me with a healthy baby and we are now planning for a third.


Getting Perspective: Your Worst Days

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read, “learn to dance in the rain”. When your world is clouded by negativity, the last thing you want to think of is something positive. However, even on our worst days, there is something to be grateful for. Thank goodness those bad days don’t last forever. But, here’s the catch, neither do the good.

Life is all about perspective. Perspective is how you perceive a person or event, based on your own previous experiences. Everyone’s perspective is different because our lives have taken very different paths. Instead of looking at a situation only for the way you see it, try to see it the way other people might see it. This is not easy by any means because this means you have to go outside of your normal way of thinking to empathize with someone else. Yet, it can change your life.

It’s interesting how 5 different people can see a person or event 5 different ways. Some focus on the good in people or events, while others focus on the negative. Whichever you focus on says a lot about you, not the person or event you are evaluating.

Take a good look at yourself. Think about the way you view the people around you. What do you see? Do you think of these people negatively or positively? Do you think of them negatively because you might envy them, or positively because you genuinely care about them? Are you satisfied with yourself and the person you’ve become? If you are, congratulations. You are one step ahead. When something comes your way, you may get down, but you won’t be down for long. However, if you are not satisfied with yourself and the person you have become, where would you want to be? Think of ways that will  get you there. Should you apologize to the people you’ve wronged or judged? Should you think of your past in a different way to move past it?

When we fall, we pick ourselves back up. Why? Because in the end, it’s just us against the world. The same person you had at birth is the same person you’ll have at death: yourself. Sure, there will be special people that come into your life along the way. We must love and appreciate those who stay in our lives for as long as they can, but you are your only constant. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be positive to yourself and even on your worst days, you’ll still be able to find the good and realize it’s not all bad.



Give Your Mother-In-Law a Break

I’m sure there will be someone rolling their eyes at the title of this post. The fact that you rolled your eyes, might be an indication that you should look at the way you see her and compare it to looking at her for who she really is. You also may want to re-evaluate the way you treat her or see her relationship with your spouse.

There are many reasons that son-in-laws or daughter-in-laws do not get along with their mother-in-law. When researching google, the top reason why a son-in-law or daughter-in-law doesn’t get along with their mother-in-law has to do with the person they married, their spouse. In other words, the son-in-law or daughter-in-law feels that their spouse isn’t on their side. Instead, the spouse takes the side of their mother the majority of the time. Now, I can understand how this can be frustrating. Allow me to show you a different point of view.

Imagine the way you think of your children. How you cherish their every smile. How your world lights up when you think about them. Now, imagine someone taking that light away and giving it back. This is how a mother-in-law sees relationship conflicts. They want their son or daughter to be with someone who gives their child more light, not one that takes it away. This is where feelings that a son-in-law or daughter-in-law aren’t good enough for their daughter or son. How do you fix it? Keep your relationship problems to the people in the relationship, husband and wife, (adult) girl friend and (adult) boy friend, fiance, etc. Don’t get me wrong. It’s okay to talk to your mother about your relationship. However, if you’re complaining to her all the time, she’s likely not to forgive your other half as easily as you do. Therefore, encourage each other to keep minuscule arguments to yourselves. If you need advice or help, she’ll always be there.

Another important aspect of an mother-in-law relationship is knowing your place. You can’t expect her to sit back and let you take over, completely. She will always worry about her children, even when they’re under your care. But just as you have a place, so does she. An understanding mother-in-law will know her place in line. In other words, she will know where her son or daughter’s priorities lie. If she doesn’t, it would be a great idea for her son or daughter and their spouse to sit down with her and have an adult conversation about her involvement in their relationship. She might not like it, but because she loves her child, she will live with it. Be sure to emphasize on how everyone can benefit from the changes made.

One thing that couples tend to not realize is, they have the power to invite people in and out of their lives on a daily basis. They also may not realize that they can set terms for the people in their lives. If anyone has a negative effect on your life, talk to that person. If there is no talking to them, you have the right to excuse them from your life. Don’t ever be afraid to do so for the health of yourself and your family.

Don’t think I am hating on spouses for not getting along with their mother-in-law. That’s not what this post is for. For every “angry” mother-in-law, there’s a complicated daughter-in-law or son-in-law. But, by keeping extra people out of your relationship, it will be much less complicated. You and your spouse are free to forgive each other as many times as you need to, without worrying about that negativity carrying into each other’s families. Lastly, there’s no easy way to tell someone you love that they are overstepping their boundaries. But a mother who loves her child will go to the ends of the earth for them, and she will back off if she needs to. Don’t worry, she’s always there waiting for her baby to ask for help. When they do, she will be there in a heart beat.

I can only hope to be like my mother-in-law. Is she perfect? No. Is anyone perfect? No, but she’s perfect for me. She is understanding. She listens to both sides when we ask her for advice, and she gives it honestly. If there is a problem on her side of the relationship, she listens attentively and adjusts her behaviors as she sees fit. The thing I love most about her, is that she is always there for her son, our children, and myself. She is all he had growing up and I respect that relationship just as she respects the space I fill in her son’s life. She’s not a push-over and always tells it like it is. When crap hits the fan, you can expect to see her in the middle of the situation fixing it. I call her the “real life wonder woman” because that’s how I see her. She is everywhere at once and always knows what to do. I don’t know how she does it, but I hope to be just like her.

In closing, here’s to mother-in-laws. To the one’s who get a bad rep, who might need to work on their attitude, who do everything they can for the people they love, who respects their children’s relationships, who can’t keep their opinions to themselves, and who just want the best for their kids, there’s no one else like you. pexels-photo-137576.jpeg

How I’m Training Two German Shepherd Pups

We’ve recently extended our family by 8 paws. Now, I am a mother of two children and two puppies. No matter how adorable either of these species are, they are incredibly expensive. However, I feel they are both worth it. As for my children, they are my life and will always come first in my life. Now that they are able to do a lot for themselves, we decided to add two furry puppies into the mix. I’m going to be honest. I was scared to death. But, after doing this for nearly two weeks, I have found that this mother, college student, and pet parent can do a lot more than she thought she could.

First of all, I have to say, I am a nut when it comes to my house and my kids living in it. I want them to live in a clean and fresh environment. My anxiety has been put to the test these last two weeks and so has the functionality of my vacuum cleaner. I am crate training the pups, which helps a lot considering my girls have an insane amount of toys. However, it has been a blessing. Since they won’t potty in their crate, it has become an essential house training tool. Another thing that has helped is the fact that I keep them on a schedule, much like I do my children. By giving them food and water at predetermined times during the day, I can schedule when to let them out to potty and when we can enjoy playtime without the fear of them potty-ing in the house. We have also invested in an underground fence, which my husband has thoroughly enjoyed installing (insert sarcastic look here). So, I’m excited to see how that enhances our German Shepherd Puppy experience.

A typical day, for me, is as follows:

As soon as I wake up, I feed my kids and puppies. Immediately after, I take the pups outside and they do their business. In the mean time, my children enjoy their morning cartoons and get to wake up as slowly as they like. When the pups come back in, they go into their crate where they nap after an energizing breakfast. While the pups nap and the kids watch cartoons, I consume a few cups of the juice from magic beans, and do as much school work as I can. This involves writing papers, reading course materials, etc. After that, the dogs are taken out once more and I feed my children lunch. After lunch, everyone naps. During this time, I am able to have some much needed time to myself to catch up on a few episodes of my favorite shows. After the kids and pups wake up, the pups are let out to potty once again. After the pups come back in, we clean. I believe it is super important to clean on a daily basis not only with children, but with dogs too. I want my kids to learn healthy habits from me and having a clean home is definitely one of them. After we are finished cleaning the pups are let out once more, and then are invited in for playtime. This lasts a few hours and is very much enjoyable for my children, and myself. Having quality time with the pups, as with kids, helps to forge close bonds. Lastly, after playing, the pups are let out to potty once more and then we eat supper. After the pups finish supper, they are let out. Because they are still young, they sleep again after this meal. The time between supper and bed is spent with family. We play with our children and pups, watch movies, or just talk as a means of spending quality time together as a family. As bed time rolls around, teeth are brushed, babies are washed, and pups are let out, once again.

Through the hectic mess life can be, we always set aside time to listen and talk to each other.  Getting the puppies was a family decision and we as a family have worked together to make them a part of ours. It is not easy juggling kids, pups, school work, family time, and house work, but with the mindset of “I can do this”, I continue to do it every day. 28377522_1602981556482429_6350933306382444866_n



My Mission

Being a mother and student has taught me so much. I have also learned a lot about myself and life through these experiences. I would like to share these lessons with you in hopes that it can help others. Imagine, if you will, glasses that enabled us to see the weight other people were carrying. Would you help them unload all of that unnecessary weight? I sure would. That is the reason for this blog. I want to bring healing and comfort to those who think they do not deserve it, or can’t get past it. Feel free to message me about personal situations or needing advice. I will gladly help anyone I can. Also, if there is anything in particular you would like to read about, just let me know! I plan to cover subjects such as family, relationships, kids, student life, classes, advice, and inspiration. pexels-photo-265702.jpeg

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